6 weekly readings: discourse on our culture and girls

several selections from what i have been reading and thinking about this week

(photo my own: brooklyn botanical garden)

i am very new to substack (only two weeks! i’m such a little baby!), but i was immediately struck by two feelings. one, i quickly fell in love with the girlyness of this space: the diary entries, the lists, the personal stories, the in-depth cultural reflections on gender and womanhood, the book and music recommendations, and the many women writers who are just here sharing their experiences in our patriarchal culture. i thought this was wonderful, and i’ve been devouring the content here for days. not only did so much of it make me think: so much of it just made me so fucking happy!

are these “serious topics”? i suppose not. my friend told me that when he visited his dad, msnbnc was on nonstop for countless hours. i’ve seen old white men on the brink of death stay up late to watch diatribes on fox news. once i was on an overnight plane from portland to new york: countless screens were lit up with fox news, cnn, and msnbc… all. night. long. just broadcasting reruns of the same few lines from a story about an fbi raid on trump. once i saw a woman who kept lifting her phone up to take pictures of the headlines on fox news. these, for some, are the “serious” topics

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and they are serious, don’t get me wrong! it’s a serious problem that old white men on the brink of death are spending their final hours binging fox news while taking breaks to vote! but these topics, while serious, and while deserving of our attention, do not demand that we submerge ourselves entirely inside them to the point of a mental breakdown, which i’m pretty sure is what nearly happened to me in 2020

there is another current on substack: a current which laments the prevalence of unserious, girly writing focused on unserious, girly topics. i can’t help but relate this perception of the girly as “unserious” to one of the most widespread conversation topics on substack right now: the topic is one we all know and feel: it is the widespread cultural tendency to denigrate girls and the girly. supposedly the “simplistic” “girly” “heartfelt” writing styles of teenage girls in their teens, twenties, and thirties is not the work of “real writers” (as if there were any such thing). but to be honest, i have found the quality of writing here to be first rate, and the reason why is that so much of this writing comes from the heart, not performance, as is so often the case in overly masculinized settings devoted to topics like political analysis: are many of these men not just trying to show off how much they know?

ugh. i have been so much more satisfied by the content which the many icons here are producing. already, your writing has enriched my perspective on the world, influenced my own writing, and shifted how i think about writing and culture itself.

i am so glad to be here, in the happiest corner of the internet, and not doom scrolling late into the night on the new york times app. this is a truly such a joyful place to be, and that is so, so rare on the internet these days. keep pumping out that content!!!

be sure to give these pages some views and read the full articles for yourselves!!!

“we don’t know how to talk about girls” by

Madison Huizinga

my favorite extract:

“Living as a girl in a culture that despises girls necessitates cognitive dissonance. It requires living with a level of conformity, even as you resist. Rejecting performance, while performing. Respecting “ma’am” while despising “ma’am.” We were never set up to produce satisfactory performances and we never fully will be under these conditions, online and otherwise. It’s also possible to make a silly video, singing a song and dancing a dance, and not have your brain capacity diminish.”

We Don't Know How to Talk About Girls

“there’s plenty of room at the carrie bradshaw round table” by

caitlyn

my favorite extract:

“regardless, i truly believe there is space on this platform for short-form “girl blog” content. it’s comforting to read and sometimes it’s enjoyable to create lighthearted listicles every now and then. and i need you to know that if you’re just a girl sharing your diaries and lists, i devour it. i eat that shit up. yes, share your girlie things. we want to know all about it. we’re invested.”

there's plenty of room at the carrie bradshaw round table

“that one time my puppy and a little old lady made me cry” by

Kristen Garaffo

my favorite extract:

“Unbridled joy seems hard to come by these days. It’s like we don’t want to lean in too hard, because we might look dumb or silly or be judged for something that we truly enjoy, so we stifle our excitement. We tamp it down to protect ourselves. But Betty and this woman very simply had no fear. Witnessing them embody joy so effortlessly was overwhelming. Betty’s joy, which she gives so freely and unabashedly and this woman’s joy—who has very clearly lived a full, happy life. Not only that, the wisdom she dropped so casually and elegantly took my breath away. It was kind of like that gorgeous scene in the Barbie movie, where Barbie sees the old woman at the bus stop and tells her she’s beautiful and she simply responds with, “I know it”. It was very that. A very simple, quiet confidence that can only come with age. Wisdom that should be revered. I couldn’t help but cry.”

That One Time My Puppy And A Little Old Lady Made Me Cry

“the blister of beauty” by

Grace

my favorite extract:

“I count myself relatively lucky in that (on the whole) I have managed to move beyond seeing beauty as something that must be suffered for. This is both in my approach to myself and art. I no longer feel the need for my body to endure so that it can be consumed most pleasantly by others.”

The blister of beauty

“teenage girls are taking over the world” by

lauren

my favorite extract:

“not only are we everywhere, but we have a community. it’s diverse, and it’s beautiful. it’s done wonders to end internalized misogyny among the teenage girls of the world. i can see that just through the past five years of being chronically online. we used to be mean to each other!!! we were not always “girls girls!” but we are now! and we’re stronger together!”

teenage girls are taking over the world

“hopes for my best friend’s baby girl” by

Madeline Paige

my favorite extract:

“If we do not do everything in our power to avoid it, the time machine that awaits us threatens to deliver us to a world where women and girls are second class citizens. Where we no longer have bodily autonomy. Where we are trapped in abusive marriages. Where we are not trusted to make the decisions that are best for us and our circumstances.”

hopes for my best friend's baby girl

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