buffy tarot draw: knight of cups
from the high priestess to the knight of cups
“the high priestess is the guardian of the unconscious. she sits in front of the thin veil of unawareness which is all that separates us from our inner landscape. she contains within herself the secret of these realms and offers us the silent invitation, ‘be still and know that i am god.’” the big book of tarot, joann bunning
for a good year or so i was constantly drawing the high priestess. i felt so in sync with the card: that high priestess energy felt so aligned with whatever was happening inside me: the nature of the high priestess (passive, withdrawn, inward-looking, fearlessly looking beneath the surface of her own emotions: hers is a kind of quiet scholarly energy, the energy of a sorceress with a doctorate, and she doesn’t deploy her magic toward gaining wealth or power: rather toward understanding the true reality behind the surface of things, including behind the surface of herself. this seemed to be my mission and it felt right that my tarot decks kept yielding this card
the high priestess felt even more relatable to me once i started using my buffy the vampire slayer deck. i was still drawing the high priestess but she had come in the form of one of my favorite buffy characters: tara. this made so much sense to me and i felt my connection with the high priestess even more deeply. tara is a person who has been taught to believe she is a demon: like me, she struggles to embrace herself, and like me she has had people close to her tell her she is evil and deserves to burn in hell. the “evil,” though, is actually the good in her that her family deems demonic. tara imagines she is so evil that she is a demon, and she is sure of this about herself, but through her study of witchcraft and the road magic takes her on, she is eventually able to see beyond the surface of herself: she is sees her true nature: goodness
now i have drawn the knight of cups. to be honest i find myself a little spooked even though of course: yes duh it’s super obvious that i have a very strong connection with my buffy deck. so no i shouldn’t be surprised it knows me so well, i know. but the thing is i’m still spooked every time my buffy deck reminds me of our connection.\
cups to me are really all about feelings, and the knight of cups speaks so well to where i find myself going now that i have completed a long phase of high priestess-ey inwardness and have embarked on a probably even longer phase of outward-looking emotional expression. as the big book of tarot explains it, the knight of cups embodies an emphasis on feelings, idealized love, the expression of sentiments, awareness of moods and feelings, and an understanding of the pain others are experiencing.
“[the knight of cups] uses his imagination in wondrous ways and taps the deepest levels of emotion. he knows how to create beauty and share it with others.”
i really do feel like my buffy deck is telling me something so true: this is a time for me to focus on my emotional development, to really bring out that part of me that i’ve kept buried in the name of seeming “serious” “logical” “intelligent” or “scholarly.” but it’s also not about me: this is also a time to pursue emotional connection with others. after years of inward reflection, it’s time to seek external connection with other beings
it’s both ominous and inspiring to see the buffy character on this tarot card. it’s william pratt, or spike before he was a vamp: the idealistic young poet with unskillful but deeply passionate approaches to romance. should i be concerned by the ultimate fate of william pratt? after all, he becomes a vampire! he becomes a demon! but i don’t think so, no: because william pratt’s innate sense of romance is still there even in spike’s demonic body… and eventually it is this natural inclination toward romance, this knight of cups energy at the core of his being, that saves him, or at least that’s how i think about it. i mean: spike’s love for buffy, flowing from his original nature as a hopeless romantic who is deeply in touch with his emotions, is ultimately what gives him the drive to overcome his demonic nature, to become good enough to sacrifice himself, no? to me, spike’s story, though dark and complicated, demonstrates the transformative power of giving into our feelings and emotions. spike’s story shows that we should all be willing to embrace that knight of cups energy!
to be a little more dreamy about it: the externally oriented emotional journey of the knight of cups is a journey that can turn a demon into an angel
(photo mine!)
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