Daniella (Part 18 — the end): Hannah, Romania bound at Dulles Airport

my 2019 novel Daniella

hannah as narrator

I was sitting in Dulles airport waiting to board my flight to Bucharest via Amsterdam.

They had already started boarding first class. I was in the last zone. I was sitting in my seat, suddenly wondering if I should get on the plane at all. I was afraid to see her.

I had spent so much time searching for her. I had isolated myself on so many weekends writing about her. I had idolized her across the years. The night before coming to the airport, I rewatched hours of her videos. I read everything I had ever written about her. I listened to music and fantasized about the moments years ago we shared together. I remembered how she hugged me at our gay-straight alliance meeting when I shared my story. I remembered being naked and alone with her in her bed. I remembered the terrible secret she trusted me with all her heart to keep.