"flee from televisional immorality!" (written december 13, 2023)
a warning from the apostle paul
Above: Cesky Krumlov, Czech Republic 2022
I can no longer accept my excuses for watching television.
I used to forgive myself by remembering that the heat index was almost 130 degrees. Within minutes of walking outside at 5 in the morning, my upper body was drenched in sweat. At sunset the locals burned garbage in bonfires: the air around the lake at the park was full of smoke. The only time the outdoors were somewhat bearable was when I was riding a regional train out into the villages for work. On those days I stood for hours right at the edge of the open door as the train whooshed through the Bengali countryside. The breeze gave me a weak but welcome sense of relief from Kolkata’s scorching heat. Otherwise it was impossible to be outside without chugging massive amounts of Oral Rehydration Salts, and so I spent whole days in my bedroom with the air conditioner on streaming TV shows (I was working from home).
Soon I moved to New York. It was cooler there and I had fewer excuses, at least at first. I was excited to be in the city and explore: weekends were filled with musicals on Broadway, runs through enormous parks, nights out at restaurants and bars. But the grind of a stressful job with new responsibilities was bound to take a toll on any man who had been sitting on his ass watching TV all day. Not to mention the hour-long ride home on a crowded subway, one hand awkwardly balancing an open book as the other reached between strangers to grasp the rail.
There was one day when I was struggling to adjust my book and I smacked my glasses right off my face. My brand new glasses disappeared into the crack between the platform and the train. Everyone was looking at me. Without moving, I watched the doors close before my eyes. The glasses were destroyed forever. There was nothing I could do, yet people looked at me expectantly. I held my book closer to my face and squinted to see the words, careful not to move.
I told myself that I deserved to watch television after all. Why not crack open a little brewskie and stream an ep or two? Kick back and relax?
I was trapped in a televisional doom loop. I was using my stress as an excuse to be a lazy bum. Of course I knew what I was doing was wrong. The time I wasted on all those weeknights when I could have been reading Plato’s Republic or maybe Das Kapital! I could’ve read so many more books! I could’ve written a book! I could have learned a whole language on the Internet!
What was it the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:18? “Flee from televisional immorality. He who commits any other sin sins against another; he who sins televisionally sins against himself.” By watching so much television in broad daylight I had doomed myself to mediocrity. By holding myself to the lowest standards, and by allowing my job to become an excuse to slack on my goals in the evenings, I had robbed myself of my potential.
I imagined that there was a dictator who would ban TV and execute anyone who possessed one. Then I would finally be free. But what if even under the threat of the death penalty, I still couldn’t help but risk it? What then?
The guilt was building up. Something powerful was stirring inside of me, something righteous and disciplined, like the Holy Spirit transforming a Christian from a sinner to a saint. In the darkest depths of my addiction, a new vision of the Night came to captivate me, a Night without TV, and this sacred revelation gave me the strength to resist for a few nights one week.
A night without TV!
What is the Night without TV?
The firm intention to never watch another episode of any TV show ever again:
Then watched 30 rock.
Re-imagining the night:
I felt that I was sinning against myself by watching television. TV robbed me of my potential as a human being.
After Buffy:
I was like a man who regrets his debauchery.
“TV is evil,” I told my wife.
But the very next day, I told her that all I want for Christmas is the complete DVD set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.