my dreamiest run: killarney national park, ireland (photography)
memories from a long run in killarney, ireland
i ran 13 miles through killarney national park in november 2021. never have i taken a run anywhere near so dreamy — everything about the scenery consumed the attention of my eyes. enormous hilltops rising over the lake, rich dark grass stretching across a cemetery, paths through fall foliage with views of the rippling water.
every color seemed enhance.
this is how i always feel in ireland: colors enhanced. grass is enhanced; leaves are enhanced; even stone seems enhanced when i am in ireland. and i mean this not only in terms of color but in terms of life. it’s as if the air and the sun and the earth were cooperating to cast such richness over everything.
sometimes that day feels so far away.
the photographs bring back something of the feeling, but they can’t bring back the crisp cool air in my mouth… or can they? honestly, looking at these pictures, i can almost feel the air from that day. at least i want to feel the air from that day.
my current location couldn’t be more different! snow is pounding down outside and this beautiful fall day in ireland has fallen into the distant past.
that’s why i’m doing a photography post. the purpose of this post? the purpose is not to educate anyone about ireland or even to create an informational travel post.
the purpose of this post is to bring back some shreds of these old memories. i’m sad about something, a hole in my life, and i’m looking at these pictures in order to distract myself from gazing into that emptiness. i’m looking back on a day when i was relaxed and happy, when i was running 13 miles through killarney national park, one of the most beautiful places i’ve seen in ireland.
i wonder: why do i keep coming back to this day in killarney in my mind?
and i know it has something to do with the color of the grass. when i look at the grass in these pictures, i think about the artificially manicured lawns that have characterized so much of my world and i wonder — is this how grass should be? really? this rich vibrant wild color?
i can never figure out what’s going on with the grass in ireland. does the grass look so rich because of the color of the air draped in front? or is the grass in ireland really just this dark and rich? these seas of just grass would always overwhelm me there: ireland is a place where i can actually be content watching the grass grow!
and i know — the grass around most american homes, grown unkempt, wouldn’t look like this grass. the grass around most homes would grow much differently. plus there are sheepies eating the grass in ireland.
even so, there is something about the grass in ireland. something so alive.
and of course it’s true though: ireland actually does have its own special grass, or at least a climate uniquely suited for grass to flourish like it does there.
yes, seriously, it was the grass in ireland that really called to me — there’s something feral about this grass, but also something consistent… a consistency that makes me feel as though the grass itself were interwoven into a hive mind. the grass in ireland makes me feel that certainty: the grass is alive; the grass could even be aware in some way. whether true or not, these are the dreams to which irish grass takes me: irish grass, somehow looking both smooth and rough, rippling out beneath the sun, conscious, even aware of my presence beside its many blades.
i was listening to music during this run — including snail mail, kendrick, and phoebe!
sometimes i wonder if i should have done without the music for this one.
would i have been more immersed in my environment had i been willing to run in silence for two hours? probably. but in truth i didn’t have the confidence that i could run 13 miles without music, and i was determined to make a half marathon of the day.
maybe this run encapsulated what i love about ireland.
in ireland i always feel this need to simply soak up the atmosphere around me.
whether it’s the grass, the water, the cliffs, or the music & parks of dublin, there is a stunning natural beauty to ireland that smothers out anxieties about checking off boxes on a sight-seeing list.
all i need to do in ireland is be there, outside, or inside with music.
this mansion in the distance swirled together with the nearby cemetery at muckross abbey to send me into a fantasy world: a world where i was running around inside an emily brontë novel.
that was the world i wanted in killarney, and that’s one part of the dream world i accessed while running through the national park listening to music.
and i loved taking pictures of the path before me.
i was on a journey during this trip to ireland. an internal journey, but still a journey, and i felt the sense of that journey running on these paths through the park.
i didn’t know where life was going to take me. i just knew, the whole time running and listening to phoebe (and kendrick! and snail mail!) in this park, that i needed to write again. i needed to write and put my writing into the world.
that’s what led to the severed branch soon after this trip.
even if i could, i wouldn’t go back to this time: a time before silas. i can’t wait to show him places like this in the world one day. i want to walk with him along these paths. i don’t want to live in a world without him, and these pictures come from such a world.
but i am looking at these pictures tonight anyway with a sense of nostalgia for these moments. this was before my old blog, the severed branch; this was when i discovered salley rooney!; this was when i truly fell in love with ireland.
and sometimes i think: “were i to make photography posts, silas could look at them one day!” so even if he’s looking at this post years and years from now, it’ll have been worth it, to share a little bit of my life from this time with him.
