the inevitable decline of the boomer mind
the early demise of the boomer's mental capacity has become virtually unstoppable
there is literally nothing beyond the reach of the wealthy boomer: she could take any language class in any country on earth; she could live in paris for three months, hanging out in cafes until her tourist visa expires; she and her husband could quit their jobs and spend all their time traveling between swinger conventions; literally any topic or skill she’s ever been curious about, she has the money and time to learn: she could self-publish a novel, invest a hundred thousand dollars in advertising.
but the wealthy boomer: he does not do any of this. the wealthy boomer focuses on the objects he has accumulated, his precious things. yes, he loves his grandchildren, but he worries when he senses that they might not become the things he wants them to be. of course he loves his kids, but he is concerned about them: they are on tiktok.
the wealthy boomer is not on tiktok because he is scrolling endlessly on facebook while watching cable news. the wealthy boomer could do anything in the whole world: he has the money to make half his dreams come true. but he opts for the screen.
the boomer chastises children these days for choosing screens over nature, and he does so by endlessly posting memes on facebook about how when he was a child his parents forced him to go outside by beating him. he hates children these days: he hates the thought of teenagers and college kids having sex and doing drugs. polyamory sickens him: he likes that his wife believes she is the only one.
photo my own
but where exactly does he gets all his rage against kids having fun these days? mostly he is focused on only one thing: his screens. he is scrolling endlessly on facebook. he is frantically sharing memes about judeo-christian values, taylor swift’s offending presence at football games, and the corrupting effects of government handouts.
he is watching television from seven in the evening until eleven at night: and he’s doing this every single night; what else is there to do?
tend to his things: his precious objects: his desk, his trophies, his bearskins, his tom clancy novels, his unopened cock rock coffee table books: he loves these things, but mostly he loves his gigantic house, his pristine yard, and his television.
his television: all his life he’s been working to upgrade his televisions, just like all his life he’s been working to get a better car and get a better couch and get a better mirror. the wealthy boomer is capable of watching cable news for an entire weekend. he will sit down in the morning, turn on msnbc, and get up only to go to the bathroom or grab himself a brewskie. he loves the news. he feels so smart. he can’t understand why everyone else is such an idiot: he knows it’s because they don’t watch tv like him.
there are boomers who turn on fox news the moment they get home and then watch that shit for three or four hours until they’re falling asleep in their chairs. i’ve seen strangers on airplanes, overnight flights across america, watching the exact same prime time cable news shows over and over again for five or six hours. by midnight there’s nothing in those minds but cheap points delivered by raging talking heads.
and even as the tv blares in the background, i’ve read about their behavior: scrolling, scrolling, scrolling forever on facebook, the place they have gone to slowly crumble away and die, occasionally shouting:
“oh look! so-and-so bought a new couch for their living room!”
this is so good!