wet leg: these girls taught me how to have fun and be confused after dispensing with my haters

i was such a boring person before wet leg came into my life! or at least i thought i was: wet leg helped me see it was the people around me who were the problem

Nov 02, 2024

i always tried to keep my fun a secret.

i’d get stoned as fuck before dinner with the in-laws, but i tried to play it cool.

i’d lay around at my parents’ house watching buffy while dressed as a “36 year old man”, but my dad wasn’t happy about it and i tried to play it down just a little bit.

i’d take 60 mg of edibles before thanksgiving dinner and then ramble about conspiracies for hours, but my family didn’t like how high i was and i tried to pretend i was less stoned than i was.

i know adam: you’re going to tell me about the time i got so high at a child’s birthday party that i was puking under a tree and then puking next to our friend’s car. okay okay! i know i know.

but back then my fun wasn’t tamed. my fun surged out of me at inopportune moments (as fun should), and yet: i just was too afraid to embrace fun.

so my fun was messy.

i guess all fun is messy though, isn’t it?

that’s what wet leg taught me.

here’s how wet leg’s music helped me stop dividing the world into “appropriate/inappropriate” and start dividing the world into “fun/not fun.”

wet leg helped me stop being a 36 year old man and start being a teenage girl.

i thank god for it.

my favorite thing about wet leg?

this was a mutual favorite between me and multiple people who rejected me:

i shit you fucking not.

related:

the propagation of teenage girl music as the antidote to american capitalism

olivia rodrigo for u.s. senate

what should being in love really feel like?

being in love should feel like fun,

but what i love about this song is that being in love turns these girls into a mess.

for so long, in the name of being the person my daddy wants me to be, i have obsessed over being neatly organized and put together: all for nothing; it was almost never good enough. and that doesn’t just apply to my daddy: this applies to so many friends i’ve had who have been more concerned about my “behavior” than my feelings.

but this song makes me think:

if i’m in love, i’m a bit of a fucking mess, i’m allowed to be!, and i kind of fucking like it. also i’m poly so, lots of love here. 🩷

I need a lie down
Only just got up
I feel so uninspired
I feel like giving up
I feel like someone has punched me in the guts
But I kinda like it 'cause it feels like being in love
Being in love
Being in love
Being in love

trust me:

i’m definitely tired after today,

i definitely feel punched in the guts,

but i’m still writing.

aren’t i?

how many times did i say it?

capricorn sun; pisces moon; pisces rising.

i’m in love with all these artists; they saved me, and i want them to know about it.

i’ve passed through all these feelings in this time of temptation:

I lost my appetite
I cannot sleep at night
I cannot concentrate
I do not feel too great

and yet, through all this music, i’ve also felt like:

The world is caving in
And I'm kinda struggling
But I kinda like it 'cause it feels like being in love
Being in love
Being in love
Being in love
Being in-, la-la-la-la-la, la-la, la, la, la
La-la-la-la-la, la-la, la, la, la

and yes,

so many nights, i’ve just felt like losing myself to wild behavior,

though somehow i’ve stayed disciplined (i told you):

I tried to meditate but I just medicate
Pour me another drink
Don't wanna have to think
I think I lost my shit
Some kinda fucked up trip
But I kinda like it 'cause it feels like being in love
Being in love
Being in love
Being in love
Being in love
Being in love
Being in love
Being in love
Being in-, la-la-la-la-la, la-la, la, la, la
La-la-la-la-la, la-la, la, la, la

so what really helped me stay disciplined through all this?

my capricorn sun,

or the music that saved me and the love i feel because of these songs?

i can’t help but think of “juna” by clairo:

I don't even try
I don't have to think
With you, there's no pretending
You know me, you know me (ooh)
And I just might know you too, ooh
Come to me ready

one thing is for sure:

i did not do enough drugs and i did not have enough sex in college.

“chaise longue” is the perfect guide to how to enjoy your college years, isn’t it?

just read it darling; just give it a listen.

Mummy, daddy, look at me
I went to school and I got a degree
All my friends call it "the big D"
I went to school and I got the big D
I got the big D
I got the big D
I got the big D
I went to school and I got the big D
Is your muffin buttered?
Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Excuse me (what?)
Excuse me (what?)
Hey you, over there
On the chaise longue in your underwear
What are you doing sitting down?
You should be horizontal now
On the chaise longue, on the chaise longue, on the chaise longue
All day long, on the chaise longue
On the chaise longue, on the chaise longue, on the chaise longue
All day long, on the chaise longue
Is your mother worried?
Would you like us to assign someone to worry your mother?
Excuse me (what?)
Excuse me (what?)
Hey you, in the front row
Are you coming backstage after the show?
Because I've got a chaise longue in my dressing room
And a pack of warm beer that we can consume
On the chaise longue, on the chaise longue, on the chaise longue
All day long, on the chaise longue
On the chaise longue, on the chaise longue, on the chaise longue
All day long, on the chaise longue
On the chaise longue, on the chaise longue, on the chaise longue
All day long, on the chaise longue
On the chaise longue, on the chaise longue, on the chaise longue
All day long, on the chaise lounge

this song makes me feel like wet leg showed up at a college campus to deliberately make things worse for the professors, administrators, and “career counselors” who might have a thing or two to say about students “culture of professionalism.”

but college isn’t about becoming a professional!

college is about learning a bunch of shit and having fun.

i was too focused on the first part to truly enjoy the second.

and the challenge doesn’t stop with college!

readings on authenticity

release the Goddess within: 10 strategies
my advice for your twenties: resist or you will be turned into a piece of material
when we stop performing: 5 enriching outcomes
identity drones: doomed forever to perform
i was a supernova and he was a black hole: end of a friendship

this song expressed so many contradictory feelings surrounding a party and a girl:

i love how these lyrics make me think about the confusion i’ve often felt at parties as i’ve dashed between feelings:

jealousy of girls like angelica who know exactly what they’re doing:

Angelica was on her way to the party
She doesn't need to wait for anybody (what-ah)
Knows exactly what's she's doin'
I watch as she commands the room (commands the room)

the feeling that i don’t even want to be at the party so i should just take another edible:

The ambience was overrated at the party
Want to run away before it's even started
I look at my feet, then I look for the door (the door)
Can't find my friends, so I just take a bit more
A bit more, a bit more
A bit more, a bit more
A bit more, a bit more
A bit more, a bit more
A bit more

the feeling that i don’t even have real friends i can consistently find at the party, and yet like zombies:

And then it all
Comes to an end
We all go again
Go again
Good times, all the timе
Good times, all the time

yet when i look back at the party, “good times” is not sarcastic. somehow i do remember all the fun moments i had with my friends! somehow my jealousy of angelica isn’t all that’s on my mind! somehow i think: let’s go again!

and who is there but angelica, the cool girl:

Angelica, she brought lasagne to the party
I tried my luck at dancin' with everybody
Sometimes life gets hard to deal

and what about when i meet someone?

how do i feel about them?

I like you, you've got sex appeal
But I don't wanna follow you on the 'Gram
I don't wanna listen to your band
I don't know why I haven't left yet
Don't want none of this

i don’t want none of this, and yet i think back like:

Good times, all the time
Good times, all the time
Good times, all the time
Good times, all the time

and i’ll always be crawling back to the party for angelica:

Angelica, she brought her ray gun to the party
Angelica obliterated everybody
I look at my hands then I look for the door
Can't help but feel like I've been here before
I don't know what I'm even doin' here
I was told that there would be free beer
I don't wanna follow you on the 'Gram
I don't wanna listen to your band
And then it all
Comes to an end
We all go again
Go again
Good times, all the time
Good times, all the time
Good times, all the time
Good times, all the time
Good times, all the time
Good times, all the time

i have no real conclusion about this song: what i love about the song is how complex the feelings are. we could discuss this song for hours. but that’s wet leg.

this song makes me think about how i always felt going out before i turned 36, except on those occasions when i was actually with people who loved me.

I don't wanna go out
It's been getting me down
Get me down, get me down
Get me down, get me down
Get me down

this is how i always felt going out with the wrong people:

in the end i felt down, i felt sad. why?

i was with people who didn’t want me to behave in certain ways, and i wanted to behave in those ways, but i wouldn’t even admit it to myself until i started listening to bands like wet leg.

I have to find a way out of the plans that I made in the past
All too fast, force quit that's it, that's it
Control, alt, delete

this is how i felt for 8 years in brooklyn: always trying to find a way out of my plans, always scrambling for “control alt delete,” completely determined to “force quit.”

It used to be so fun
Now everything just feels dumb
I wish I could care
And now I'm almost 28, still getting off my stupid face
A fucking nightmare, I know I should care
Right now, I don't care

i was 28 when i was living in brooklyn and horrified by the direction of my life.

so many others were proud of the direction my life was taking:

they were looking at my resume, at my “experience,” at my “education.”

but all i could think: life was so fun, long ago, in places like freiburg with friends who loved me, and now it’s all a fucking nightmare; i don’t even care to change it.

i’m going to cancel my plans because no one likes me.

(at least that’s what went through my mind whenever i hit control alt delete)

It all used to be fun
Now you're swinging a gun 'round your head
Seeing red, can you please repeat what you just said?
Or leave a message at the beep

i never swung any guns or even knives (i’ve been absolutely terrified of blades my whole life; blades are how they killed hypatia of alexandria)

but i was definitely in self-destruct mode,

and my true friends could see that.

on the exterior my life was glamorous: travel, “friends,” new york;

on the interior:

Because I do not have time to try to understand
Why you do what you like
But it never really turns out right
At least we all are going to die
It used to be so fun
Now everything just feels dumb
I wish I could care
And now I'm almost 28, still getting off my stupid face
A fucking nightmare, I know I should care
Right now, I don't care
Oh yeah, I heard that you started a band
Oh yeah, I heard that you moved to LA
Oh yeah, are you gonna stay young forever?
You said, "Yeah" and I just walk away

i wanted to be one of those people who just “stays young forever;”

but whenever i encountered them in the wild,

i felt a need to stake myself out as the “adult.”

and what was i left with in the name of “adulthood”?

It used to be so fun
Now everything just feels dumb
I wish I could care
And now I'm almost 28, still getting off my stupid face
A fucking nightmare
I know I should care
Right now I don't care

apathy, that’s what.

i was canceling plans with the people who knew how to have fun,

and meanwhile my life was a fucking nightmare i didn’t care to fix.

all i ever needed to do was go have some fucking fun,

which a few of my friends kept telling me to no avail.

i needed to find wet leg first.

if i’m being honest, when i listen to this song, i imagine a super hot girl looking at my from her car. and she’s thinking, “who is that fucker to be even thinking of me?”

i guess this is the self-image i have often had when interacting with girls, and this song makes me think of every dumb line i’ve ever used and every time i’ve ever felt dumb talking to a girl.

ever time i’ve felt: i’m not worthy to even fantasize about kissing this girl.

and yet the tone of the song just absorbs me into a fun zone:

a zone where not only can i talk to girls, now i am the girl singing:

Beam me up (beam me up)
Count me in (count me in)
Three, two, one (three, two, one)
Let's begin
Here we go (here we go)
Here we go (here we go)
Here we go, here we go, here we go
I was in your wet dream
Driving in my car
Saw you at the side of the road
There's no one else around
You're touching yourself, touching yourself
Touching your, touching yourself
Touching yourself
You said, "Baby, do you want to come home with me?
I've got Buffalo '66 on DVD"
You said, "Baby, do you want to come home with me?
I've got Buffalo '66 on DVD"
Beam me up (beam me up)
Count me in (count me in)
Three, two, one (three, two, one)
Let's begin
Here we go (here we go)
Here we go (here we go)
Here we go, here we go, here we go
I was in your wet dream
Driving in my car
What makes you think you're good enough
To think about me when you're touching yourself?
Touching yourself
Touching your, touching yourself
Touching yourself
You climb onto the bonnet
And you're licking the windscreen
I've never seen anything so obscene
It's enough to make a girl blush
It's enough, it's enough to make a girl blush
It's enough, it's enough, it's enough, it's enough
It's enough, it's enough, it's enough, it's enough (to make a girl blush)
It's enough, it's enough, it's enough, it's enough
It's enough, it's enough, it's enough, it's enough (to make a girl blush)
Beam me up (beam me up)
Count me in (count me in)
Three, two, one (three, two, one)
Let's begin
Here we go (here we go)
Here we go (here we go)
Here we go, here we go, here we go
Beam me up (beam me up)
Count me in (count me in)
Three, two, one (three, two, one)
Let's begin

i love this song because the lyrics and music absorb me into two worlds simultaneouslty:

in one world, i’m remembering the loser i used to be, the loser my haters want back;

in another world, everything flips, and i’m the cool girl in the car,

and my haters are lickin’ the windscreen.

Gone with the wind
Taken by a heathen
Like an April fool was in 2007

i like this lyric:

april 2007 was a month when i was torn between continuing my relationship with my high school sweetheart (my first genuine love) and recognizing that our lives were moving in different directions. in the end i stayed with her until she dumped me that late september / early october — was i taken by a heathen? nah. i can’t call her that.

but the lyrics have me on the hunt for a heathen — wasn’t april also the month i said i was a “protestant christian” again, after months of being agnostic?

the man, my mom’s friend who encouraged this, was he a heathen?

i think so tbh.

Sun goes down, every night
No goodbyes, I'm not surprised
I'm left with a lady in ruins
Oh-oh, convincing
Oh-oh, yourself
This is fine
It's not working for you, darling (it's not working)

and that is where i was:

with my version of christianity,

with my high school sweetheart,

with my whole identity:

i was a lady in ruins, convincing myself everything was fine, even though it wasn’t working: voraciously listening to wet leg in 2023 and 2024 helped me see that.

wet leg helped me see: i still haven’t learned when to let go, when to just have fun.

wet leg helped me see in 2023: i’m still struggling with the same themes i was in 2007.

And they're outside of my house right now
And I wanna go outside
And I see their name on his fucking face

this line reminds me of my fundamentalist christian days:

i was 16, and i refused to spend time with any of my friends.

why?

they weren’t christian enough, i said:

and yet they showed up to my house! they tried to get me to come hang out with them!

but i wouldn’t join: just like so often i haven’t joined others who truly loved me.

just like so often i’ve stayed inside with the people who don’t.

i wanted to do so many fun things, but i was worried: who is going to mind?

Do you think the other girls would mind?
If I took a swim too in the nighttime
On the beach
Wet feet
Bio-luminescent plankton shit
Oh-oh, convincing
Oh-oh, yourself
This is fine
It's not working for you, darling (it's not working, darling)
Oh-oh, convincing
Oh-oh, yourself
This is fine
It's not working for you, darling
And the sky is blue (blue, blue, blue)
Do you feel it too? (Blue, blue, blue)
And when the sky is grey (grey, grey, grey)
Uh-uh, I feel the same
Oh-oh, convincing
Oh-oh, yourself
This is fine
It's not working for you, darling (it's not working for you, darling)
Oh-oh, convincing
Oh-oh, yourself
This is fine
Oh-no, it's not working for you, darling (it's not working, darling)

that life wasn’t working for me,

was it darlings?

i’m so glad you made the music that helped me discover that.

“loving you” is a song with music that always keeps me coming back:

but also, “loving you” describes the experience of “love” without a clear definition: the singer wants to requit the partner’s claims of love, but she can’t; and even the partner’s claims of love fall to pieces when tested.

the whole romance gradually dissipates into a kind of love that is given and requitted only with words: the kind of love that says, “i love you and i care about you,” end; the kind of romantic love that says, “i just want you to be my pal and fuck buddy;” the kind of love that so often deceives us, keeps us trapped, keeps us from having fun; the kind of love that ends and yet: the former partner somehow “wants” you even more.

ultimately the love here is an objectifying love: to “think about me” means to masturbate, and nothing really more than that.

We had it all, we had it all
We had it all planned out
You said that I was everything
You ever wanted, there's no doubt
I used to want to love you like you wanted me to
Now I wanna hate you like I tell you I do
Sorry if I seem a little bit upset
When you say she looks a little bit like me
When we first met
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
I don't wanna have to be friends
I don't wanna have to pretend
I don't wanna meet your girlfriend
I hope you choke on your girlfriend
Don't call me up
You fucked it up
I'm not your friend
I'm not your pal
You're fucking wishing
That I was though
Every time you see me out
You say you think about me
In the midnight hour
I know that you're just rubbing
One out up in the shower, honey
Sorry if I seem a little bit upset
When you tried calling me crazy 'cause I'm not DTF
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

this part of the song i love most:

there is a final realization, such an important one — “i don’t want to have to be someone you want to marry” — when she realizes who she would become were she to actually pursue a relationship with this person.

I don't wanna have to be friends
I don't wanna have to pretend
Well, I hope you're very happy
Hope she gets on with your daddy
After all...
I don't want to have to be someone
You want to marry
Fucking hell yeah, that's a life of miss

this is something i’ve come to realize about the people who reject me:

they are always a little startled by how callously i decline to listen to them.

but i don’t want to be the kind of person they would love!

don’t they get it?

or are they still fucking looking at my stories?

what do you think? are they rubbing one out while they do so?

i can tell you one thing:

i won’t be saying sorry for the shit i posted about them.

I don't want to have to be the one to say I'm sorry
'Cause I'm not, that's fucking faking it
Am I scaring you?
Well, what's a girl to do?

scared yet?

don’t be.

I don't wanna have to stay friends
I don't wanna have to pretend
I don't wanna meet your girlfriend
Hope you're choking on your girlfriend
When she calls 999
They cut the line on you

am i going to lie to you?

or am i going to admit to how many times i’ve listened just to the scream on this track?

i have to lie: i honestly have no clue how many times i’ve listened to that scream.

fucking hundreds of times, that’s all i know for sure.

When I think about what you've become
I feel sorry for your mum
You say we're all having fun
Do you know you're the only one?

i’ve had so many friends like this: they say we’re having so much fun,

and when i’m standing beside them,

i’m containing my true self with everything i have.

And when the lights go down on this fucking town
I know it's time to go
And when the radio plays and the static stays
Yeah, I know it's time to go

and honestly — i don’t want to run into these people in the dark.

not right now.

that’s why i was inside before sunset today.

I get up
To go now
I give up
Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up
On you now
I don't want you to want me
I need you to forget me
Yeah, I loved you, that was crazy
'Cause you just don't motivate me

isn’t this what people we really love should do for us??

motivate us???

there are so fucking many people who say they love me and do not even try to motivate me based on an understanding of what i want. they will only try to motivate me based on what they want. ugh. fuck those people!!!! jesus.

but they won’t go away: remember.

there’s only one way to deal with them:

You said that you tried your best
Why's this such a fucking mess?
You're always so full of it
Yeah, why don't you just suck my dick?
And when the lights go down on this fucking town
I know it's time to go
And when you're getting blazed, spooning mayonnaise
Yeah, I know it's time to go
I gеt up
To go now
I give up
Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up
On you now

these people will not give up on me, that i can tell you.

they want me to want to listen to them.

they want me to “go to therapy” and learn how to “respect” them.

but here’s the thing about the people who don’t let me have fun:

I don't want you to want me
I need you to forget me
Yeah, I loved you, that was crazy
'Cause you just don't motivate me
Okay, I've been practicing my longest and loudest scream
Okay, here we go
One, two, three, ahhhhh!

just listen to the track.

that scream is how you make me feel when you dig your claws into me.

(And when I think about what you've become)
(I feel sorry for your mum)
(I feel so dumb, dumb, dumb?)
(When I think about what you've become)
(I feel sorry for your mum)
(I feel so dumb, dumb, dumb?)

i feel so fucking sorry for your moms,

and i think it’s funny you thought my “treatment program” would put an end to this.

tell me mommy and daddy, tami and keith:

do you really believe you’ve ever motivated me?

did you try your best and create a fucking mess?

do you still think this nightmare is going to end?

or are you finally ready to let me go so i can just have fun?

without your bullshit rules & conditions of love when i’m

36 fucking years old?

are you FUCKING INSANE?????

fucking disown me: it’ll all be easier.

i feel so bad for both of your moms.

you tried your best, didn’t you? but damn. your family is a fucking mess;

and meanwhile i’m out having fun

(or i’m just writing lol i can’t say tonight is fun — i don’t always internalize my lessons)

so tell me:

are you crying yet???

or are you still just drinking wine and bitching about my behavior?

i’ll be honest:

physically i’m totally alone right now.

my true friends always say they’re busy when i ask to hang out,

and i know why:

a) they are busy

b) my closest friends are mostly dispersed around the country

c) i have things i need to be doing

so this does sum up every night of my life for the past month:

I went home all alone
Checked my phone
Oh, no
Oh my God, life is hard
Credit card
Oh, no

i just paid off some very large credit card bills:

my mommy and daddy want me to save for “retirement”, they want me to give my money to investment banks for 30 more years, but i wanted to spend my money on a gaming computer, purple luggage, lavender headphones, and a gold speaker.

You're so woke, Diet Coke
I feel gross
Oh, no
I went home, all alone
I checked my phone
Now I am excited

i’ve turned into my mom’s worst nightmare of a woke person,

and i’ve spent a lot of time drinking diet coke,

going home all alone,

looking at my phone for excitement.

On my phone
All alone in the zone
Oh, no
Hours pass, pizza rot
I like that
Oh, no

i even got a pizza!

and i ate it in my hotel room!

i thought i was conducting a summoning ritual.

(it didn’t work)

3 a.m, I feel zen
Fucking zen
Oh, no
Suck the life from my eyes
It feels nice
I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling now

so often i’ve been in my bed just scrolling and scrolling.

in some ways i’ve never been more alone than i have since i started this blog,

and yet not once in that isolation have i questioned whether i’m on the right path.

i’ve posted essays and gone for zen walks at 3 in the morning in a small town, only to return home at 4 and write once again.

and to be honest, i have no idea when i’m going to go to a party next.

i’ve gone to a night club in GR alone a couple times,

but i never make very close friends that way (i know — absurd expectation lol) and i always just go home alone to scroll on my phone.

so i stopped going.

i don’t go out on the weekends,

or any other night.

i’m not perfect!

i’m still working on having fun,

and i’m still afraid to be near the arty people.

i need to keep listening to music.

If you're going to the party
I heard there's gonna be some arty
People talking 'bout themsеlves
Whatever it is that you always talk about, ah
I wеnt home all alone
I checked my phone
Oh, no
I went home all alone
I checked my phone
And now I'm inside it

if you ever need a song to just get you in the mood to tell someone to “fuck off,” which is one of the most important weapons you have, listen to “piece of shit” by wet leg.

Didn't get up 'til the afternoon
Our plans fell through and now you're calling me out
Guess I should have set the alarm a little earlier
'Cause now you call me up, alright
I'm not enough?
Alright
I fucked it up?
Alright
I'm such a slut?
Alright, whatever helps you sleep at night
Didn't wanna have this out with you, but n
ow I have no choice
To talk it over
Well, if you were better to me
Then maybe I'd consider fucking you goodbye
Alright
Want me to cry?
Alright
Like I might die?
Alright
You're a good guy
Alright, whatever helps you sleep at night
'Cause you can never tell what it is I am thinking
You say I'm mysterious 'cause I won't let you get it in
You can never tell where it is this is going
You say that you're a genius, I say you must be joking
Yeah, like a piece of shit, you either sink or float
So you take her for a ride on your daddy's boat
And you are not in love, but it's close enough
You say you think about me when you're fucking her
'Cause you can never tell what it is I am thinking
You say I'm mysterious 'cause I won't let you get it in
You can never tell where it is this is going
You say you're a genius, I say you must be joking
Yeah, like a piece of shit, you either sink or float
So you take her for a ride on your daddy's boat
And you are not in love, but it's close enough
You say you think about me when you're fucking her
Yeah, technically I know that I agreed
But it was unenthusiastically

“supermarket” is one of my core theme songs.

“supermarket” describes the life i love to live:

getting too stoned to make a good impression on the parents.

i listen to this song all the time, and i let the words cast a spell on me.

once the haters are dispensed with,

this is what’s left,

if you want it:

I wanna take you to the supermarket
I wanna buy you all the shit that you need
I think I like it at the supermarket
But now security keep asking us to leave
We got too high, high, high, high, high
We got too high, high, high, high, high
We got too high, high, high, high, high
We got too high, high, high, high, high
I want to take you back to meet my parents
I wanna tell them 'bout that job that you do
And I think you'll like it when you meet my parents
And I think there was a good chance of them liking you
But you got too high, high, high, high, high
You got too high, high, high, high, high
You got too high, high, high, high, high
You got too high, high, high, high, high

can you imagine?

i used to think: “that’s not good! the parents don’t like them!”

lmfao!

I want to take you to the supermarket
I wanna shop it 'til I'm weak at the knees
And there's special offers at the supermarket
Well, the last time I was picking up
It was buy one get one free
Now I'm too high, high, high, high, high
We got too high, high, high, high, high
We got too high, high, high, high, high
We got too high, high, high, high, high
We got too high (high!)
High (high!)
High (high!)
High (high!)
High (high!)
High (high!)
High (high!)
High, we got too high, high, high, high, high
We got too high, high, high, high, high, high

my dad has made one thing very clear to me:

he does not like that i take edibles;

he is irritated when i do not drink his whiskey from Costco;

he “doesn’t like” marijuana;

and he thinks these feelings should matter to me.

but the problem is,

every time my daddy keith tries to teach me how to be responsible,

i’m just too high to listen without laughing.

he could easily have a relationship with me by simply accepting me as i fucking am,

a stoner,

a teenage girl in her 30s,

the coolest bitch in town,

the tumblr girl of your worst fucking nightmares,

and yet:

this is something both he and my mommy refuse to do.

i can’t deal with them anymore unless i’m stoned.

despite the confidence i sometimes portray on this blog,

the truth is i am so confused about so many things.

i have so many feelings and i am trying to understand them.

i’m in a whirlpool and i always will be,

but i prefer the whirlpool to the quicksand,

and i prefer being a butterfly to being an ant.

i embrace that: some days will be sad; some happy; some something else; but what i know is that i am free now, and i accept the confusion, pain, hardship, fun, excitement, and comfort that comes with.

If I thought that you were cool
We would have hung out more in school
But now that we have all grown up
Well, all my friends have given up
No, there's nothing left to say
I just get up and walk away
If it ain't broke, don't try to fix
Well, life's supposed to be this shit
Now everything is going wrong
I think I changed my mind again
I'm not sure if this is a song
I don't even know what I'm saying
Everything is going wrong
I think I changed my mind again
I'm not sure if this is the kinda life that I saw my self living
I don't need no dating app
To tell me if I look like crap
To tell me if I'm thin or fat
To tell me, should I shave my rat
I don't need no radio, no MTV, no BBC
I just need a bubble bath to send me on a higher path
I'm gonna drive my car into the sea
I'm gonna drive downtown looking pretty ordinary
Too late now, lost track somehow
I'm like, "Oh my God, this road is pretty harrowing"
Down we go while holding hands
If I fuck this up, I'm taking you down with me
Too late now, lost track somehow
Well, if I fuck this up, I'm taking you down with me
I'm gonna drive my car into the sea
I'm gonna drive downtown looking pretty ordinary
Too late now, lost track somehow
I'm like, "Oh my God, this road is pretty harrowing"
Now everything is going wrong
I think I changed my mind again
I'm not sure if this is a song
I don't even know what I'm saying
Everything is going wrong
I think I changed my mind again
I just need a bubble bath to send me on a higher path

thank you wet leg,

your music has done so fucking much for me.

💖 snowflakeangelbutterfly 💖

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