ugh! i meant to end with THIS quote from shelby as well:
added in! sorry it was missing from the emails
"A healing woman, who is liberated in herself, who is sovereign over her body, is noncongruent with a culture reliant on shame. So the culture pushes back, working as it has been designed, to quell those who dare to test the bounds and unlearn the predicated ways of what womanhood “should” be. The shame machine continues to train our girls into the complicity of their own demise.
Sitting from a safe distance I can gaze back on my past and see it so clearly, the kind of clarity that only time can provide. I see the ways in which I was set up by social conditioning to fail, how I was failed by those I trusted, and the ways I failed myself. I see the thread of shame that ran through every traumatic event that has made me who I am. Shame depends on secrecy to survive; to speak on it voids it of its power. And I’m speaking now."
thank you so so so much for mentioning my writing, it genuinely means so much! i'm glad it can mean something to you, and can give you something to think about.
by far the most meaningful round up my work has ever been a part of. I'm really touched by this. thank you, andrew. Your journey into your most evolved self inspires me--the way you hold joy and rage at the same time, the way you let each feeling be truly *felt*. You don't sugarcoat but you still find sweetness. I'm honored to give you a peek into socialized girlhood and all of its complexity. thank you for honoring it right back <3
YES YES YES WE ARE DONE WITH SELF OBLITERATION! WE ARE DONE WITH SHAME! It’s not worth it. Life is too short. Love you love this so much 😍 THANK YOU for being your authentic self you are an inspiration! 💖
ANDREW!!! OMG! Thank you so much for not only reading my work, but deeply engaging with it in this way. I feel so seen. You have no idea how much it means to me to have been featured in such a lovely roundup with such a poignant message. I love that writing allows us to witness other perspectives and gain insights of ourselves through others' experiences. It is so easy to lose sight of the things we have and become ungrateful for what others yearn so deeply for. Your writing here is so touching. Thank you for your vulnerability. And thank you for seeing me!
ME?! INCLUDED?! What an honour!!! Even if it is in the consumption category, but the girlies know keeping the shopping habit under control is a marathon not a sprint! I love the complexity of your writing Andrew. There is so much emotion and depth, and acceptance. Being true to ourselves is the best thing we've got 🩵
omg i cackled (in a good way) when i saw mine was “lit girl life” 😂
i do wanna bring up your idea that “to be a man is to be nothing. to be a girl is a supernova.” i actually think there are positives (and negatives) about both ends of the gender spectrum, and it is definitely not so black & white as one gender expression being better than another! there are millions of men out there who reject the patriarchy and are wonderful humans! and there are millions of women who are conservative & boring.
i find myself somewhere in between the gender spectrum, where i do feel comfortable in my body but not very aligned with the idea of womanhood. things like makeup, having kids, thinking about my weight, shaving my legs and pits, and even having periods (tmi, i don’t have them lol!) are so foreign to me i feel like an alien when i’m around stereotypically girly girls.
rambling aside, there is masculinity, which in itself is neutral, and then there’s toxic masculinity, where it’s forced on people who don’t align with masculine traits. and femininity is also neutral, as well as everything in between. some of us are socialized to be assholes about these traits, but no human being is nothing! 💜
I agree I oversold it 🩷I was carried away with my own rejection of the nothingness of the men in my own life. Of course I don’t believe the reality is truly that binary! Thank you for pointing this out.
totally!! i also wanted to say that cause i don’t want YOU thinking you’re nothing just because you were born male!! 💜 you feel like a supernova because you ARE!
Thanks 🩷honestly for years I hated myself for being born male. Like beyond the sense of wanting to be a girl, I just hated myself for being male, and over time I built up an anger toward masculinity in general.
ugh! i meant to end with THIS quote from shelby as well:
added in! sorry it was missing from the emails
"A healing woman, who is liberated in herself, who is sovereign over her body, is noncongruent with a culture reliant on shame. So the culture pushes back, working as it has been designed, to quell those who dare to test the bounds and unlearn the predicated ways of what womanhood “should” be. The shame machine continues to train our girls into the complicity of their own demise.
Sitting from a safe distance I can gaze back on my past and see it so clearly, the kind of clarity that only time can provide. I see the ways in which I was set up by social conditioning to fail, how I was failed by those I trusted, and the ways I failed myself. I see the thread of shame that ran through every traumatic event that has made me who I am. Shame depends on secrecy to survive; to speak on it voids it of its power. And I’m speaking now."
🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
thank you so so so much for mentioning my writing, it genuinely means so much! i'm glad it can mean something to you, and can give you something to think about.
Yes!!! You’re so lucky to be putting your writing out there at this age, seriously: just keep going
by far the most meaningful round up my work has ever been a part of. I'm really touched by this. thank you, andrew. Your journey into your most evolved self inspires me--the way you hold joy and rage at the same time, the way you let each feeling be truly *felt*. You don't sugarcoat but you still find sweetness. I'm honored to give you a peek into socialized girlhood and all of its complexity. thank you for honoring it right back <3
Thank you so much for this comment!!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷I am so happy the algorithm connected us haha 💖
YES YES YES WE ARE DONE WITH SELF OBLITERATION! WE ARE DONE WITH SHAME! It’s not worth it. Life is too short. Love you love this so much 😍 THANK YOU for being your authentic self you are an inspiration! 💖
🩷🩷🩷thank you so much!!! and yes END SELF-OBLITERATION!! 🩷🩷🩷
ANDREW!!! OMG! Thank you so much for not only reading my work, but deeply engaging with it in this way. I feel so seen. You have no idea how much it means to me to have been featured in such a lovely roundup with such a poignant message. I love that writing allows us to witness other perspectives and gain insights of ourselves through others' experiences. It is so easy to lose sight of the things we have and become ungrateful for what others yearn so deeply for. Your writing here is so touching. Thank you for your vulnerability. And thank you for seeing me!
Thank you for inspiring me Shelby!!! Your writing gave me the energy to dive into my own 🩷
ME?! INCLUDED?! What an honour!!! Even if it is in the consumption category, but the girlies know keeping the shopping habit under control is a marathon not a sprint! I love the complexity of your writing Andrew. There is so much emotion and depth, and acceptance. Being true to ourselves is the best thing we've got 🩵
Thank you so much!!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷I truly appreciate your comment so much 💖
omg i cackled (in a good way) when i saw mine was “lit girl life” 😂
i do wanna bring up your idea that “to be a man is to be nothing. to be a girl is a supernova.” i actually think there are positives (and negatives) about both ends of the gender spectrum, and it is definitely not so black & white as one gender expression being better than another! there are millions of men out there who reject the patriarchy and are wonderful humans! and there are millions of women who are conservative & boring.
i find myself somewhere in between the gender spectrum, where i do feel comfortable in my body but not very aligned with the idea of womanhood. things like makeup, having kids, thinking about my weight, shaving my legs and pits, and even having periods (tmi, i don’t have them lol!) are so foreign to me i feel like an alien when i’m around stereotypically girly girls.
rambling aside, there is masculinity, which in itself is neutral, and then there’s toxic masculinity, where it’s forced on people who don’t align with masculine traits. and femininity is also neutral, as well as everything in between. some of us are socialized to be assholes about these traits, but no human being is nothing! 💜
I agree I oversold it 🩷I was carried away with my own rejection of the nothingness of the men in my own life. Of course I don’t believe the reality is truly that binary! Thank you for pointing this out.
totally!! i also wanted to say that cause i don’t want YOU thinking you’re nothing just because you were born male!! 💜 you feel like a supernova because you ARE!
Thanks 🩷honestly for years I hated myself for being born male. Like beyond the sense of wanting to be a girl, I just hated myself for being male, and over time I built up an anger toward masculinity in general.
Also when I say to be a man is to be nothing, I mean the performance of a man