7 clairo songs to process romantic experience

clairo's music explores the nuances of romantic experience at a level with which few compete. her new album, "charm," is a masterpiece of love songs.

the first time i saw clairo live, it was in new york before a boygenius show last summer. the show was outside and rain was pouring down. i was so happy to be on the floor, where all of us were dancing, and her artistic presence swept me away

when the new clairo album came out, deep summer had me listening for 4-5 hours a day. yes, i am crazy about music: when i feel a deep emotional connection with an artist’s work, i lose myself in that work. over and over again i listen and dwell. clairo’s music, so authentically emotional and complex, is just perfect for me: i like to text lyrics with my friends and talk about what they mean to us, i like to bask in the feelings that come and go over the course of charm, i like to listen to her songs over and over and walk away each time with some new feeling i struggle to understand

one aspect of clairo’s work (and there are many!) that keeps me coming back is the nuance with which she approaches romantic experience. clairo seems capable of exploring virtually every variation of romantic feeling. she does not oscillate between two binary points of heartbreak and elation. she breaks apart the complexities of relationships to the point where the meaning of her songs is both startlingly specific and yet expansively vague. but clairo’s songs are not vague in the sense some horoscopes are vague. clairo’s songs are only vague in the way feelings are vague: 3-4 words of lyrics slice sharp; they sink deep; the emotion is clear, complex, jolting.

we are all swirling internally with contradictory feelings, no? we attach ourselves to certain feelings and suppress or neglect others, but the whirlpool of emotions continues swirling down deep into our psyche regardless of our intentions.

we are all little planets with our own vast subterranean lava chambers. however cool we are on the surface, we are full of magma stretching down toward our core. the emotions i avoid are like water getting sucked down deep into the subterranean realms of my being: there are pools of magma down there, burning lava bright and hot. the water seeps down into me. the water comes to these lava chambers, heats up, and comes rushing out from me as if erupting from a geyser. we may not see what is happening in these chambers, but there is lava and there is water: they are mixing regardless of whether we acknowledge our own internal geology. thankfully, art is a tool which we can use to navigate these subterranean worlds within us before their contents come bursting out, and for me clairo’s art is particular good for this.

clairo’s music is an example of something i have said before, and which i am sure others have also said in many other times and places: music and lyrics together are among the ultimate tools for processing and even for simply facing our emotions. there is immense nuance to the many ways clairo explores and expresses the kaleidoscopic variations romantic experience: she’s always hinting at something more than what is said, dropping little words that suggest something deeper and dark, little lines that communicate to us the feeling of the situation without deploying factual specifics. it’s easy to see that clairo has spent time navigating her own lava chambers.

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it was difficult to narrow these songs down. i truly love clairo’s older work, and these songs only include selections from her new album, charm. but i stuck with charm because a) i’ve been fucking addicted!!!! i love this shit!!!!!!! and b) i really feel like clairo has reached a new level of craft here. these new songs can be there for us like friends and watch over us in some sense across the turmoil and elations of our many seasons. for me, that’s a statement about every single song on this album

and please: don’t stop yourself at these words. the feeling comes out so much more fully when set against the mesmerizing beauty and complexity of clairo’s music.

“nomad”

i'd run the risk of losing everyone
i'd sail and say my phone was overboard
i'd run the risk, and just in case, I might
take a ship around the world to find

oh, where you hid the key?
it's even irrational for me
it's chemical, obsessed
i blame you for locking me in
mm-hmm, ah

but I'd rather be alone than a stranger
you'd come visit me late at night
i'd rather wake up alone than be reminded
of how it was a dream this time

“nomad” confronts a question to which clairo returns throughout the album: what does it mean to really be close to someone? loneliness is among our greatest fears. we want to be known. but we we are often willing to cling to people who don’t know us.

i had a friend where i always noticed how i censored myself when i was with him. don’t reveal this: don’t reveal that: he’ll think it’s weird. this isn’t a big deal from time to time, but when when we repeatedly do this, we inadvertently build up a false image of us in the other person’s head. in this way, we ourselves actually become strangers.

it’s such a proclamation: “i’d rather be alone than a stranger,” clearly communicating that sense that if the person we are with is someone who does not truly know us, then are we in some sense not already alone anyway? we can be strangers in romantic relationships, even when we convince ourselves the person knows us very deeply. but in clairo’s case, she just keeps waking up with people who do not know her compsrted to a person in the past who did: “i blame you for locking me in”

clairo hints at sacrifices she is prepared to make that go far deeper than a single romantic relationship. she’d “run the risk of losing everyone.” and it’s true that when we are truly known, we will lose people: we may even find ourselves in a situation where we have to walk away rather than be a stranger. would you be prepared for that?

i love this song because while the lyrics are kind of sad, there really is a hopeful undertone. there is a sense clairo has the confidence in herself, and values herself enough, to take these risks: to lose people in the name of being seen for her true self

“second nature”

and once you get in my ear
i see kismet sinking in
it's second nature
like the sap from a cedar
rolling down to be near her
it's second nature

soon you'll realize too
how it, it aligns you
ought to know, know the
know the truth

as melancholic as clairo can get, “second nature” is an example of how easily she just sinks down into this kind of divine sexiness that mixes a sense of destiny with beautiful physical imagery. and the whole tone of this song is just so smooth and nice.

what i love about clairo’s imagery is how clear yet restrained it is. she hints as very intimate physical interactions without needing to be overly explicit. the way she describes bodies coming together escalates from direct to poetic: we can just picture her partner in her ear, the sense of destiny and nature overtaking clairo, and then the desire to be near her coming out, like sap from a cedar: biologically automated, unstoppable. these 6 lines combine multiple senses of intimacy: the spiritual (“kismet”), the instinctive (“second nature”), and the physical (“sap from a cedar.”)

i wonder about the last line: soon you’ll realize it too. there’s some truth about this relationship that clairo has which her partner does not, but she seems confident the partner eventually will. it’s an interesting juxtaposition: the sheer confidence in the first stanza followed by the hint of uncertainty in the next

“juna”

i don't even try
i don't have to think
with you, there's no pretending

you know me, you know me
and I just might know you too, know you
come to me ready

go dancing
(you make me wanna) try on feminine
(you make me wanna) go buy a new dress
(you make me wanna) slip off a new dress

i think i saw clairo mention “juna” as one of her personal favorites on this album. what i love most about juna is how the lyrics embrace what feels very resonating as a definition of “true love.” for clairo, true love is all about being known and being seen, a theme that appears repeatedly on charm.

i am just swooning every time that third stanza hits. because being known and seen is only part one of true love in “juna.” the next component of true love is the excitement which overtakes clairo simply by being with this person. this person inspires her buy a new dress, to slip off the new dress, to go dancing. she does not have to perform, does not have to pretend: she can have fun, she can be excited. this too is love!

“slow dance”

when the moon begins to hide
it's not over
in the window, turnin' light
does not mean goodbye

and, too, when candles burn out and the record is faded down
i know you've got people to turn to
and too, when candles burn out and the record is faded down
i know you've got people to turn to

what is it that's keeping one foot out
and the other crawling in bed?
and what is it that's keeping you alone
and leaving after we slow dance?

and we fall back in routine
it can't be over
and I remember everything
you used to know her

i could trace it all the way back
i could trace it all the way back

this is probably my favorite song on the album from the perspective simply of how it sounds and the soft chill sad vibes it gives off. i love how she immediately opens with a cascade of imagery and detail: the moon hiding, window in the light, goodbyes in the dark, candles burning out, records playing, a foot crawling in bed

there is a sense that we are in the lonely aftermath of something wonderful and painful and confusing. clairo seems frustrated with the other person, asking: “what is it that’s keeping you alone and leaving after we slow dance?” the slow dance here, i think, signifies a much broader range of intimacy, but the intimacy is a hesitant one: when it ends, “we fall back in routine / it can’t be over.” but it could also signify nothing more than a slow dance: they slow dance, they connect emotionally, and then that’s the end of it

every time i hear the song, i wonder: who is “her”? “her” is an additional complication thrown into this dynamic. clairo never clarifies who “her” is, but “her” is involved, and clairo’s mind is focused on that involvement. “you used to know her / i could trace it all the way back.” there’s something torturing here: an obsession with the past

“thank you”

sometimes i want somebody to see me
how you opened my doors and left them wide open
why doesn't this happen more naturally?
if I tried, maybe

when you're lonely, you'll just do anything
to drink it all up, the feeling, it's the memory
that's when it all aligns, I can really see
what you meant to me

i really hate to admit it
i put my pride on the line
'cause when i met you, i knew it
i'd thank you for your time
i'd thank you for your time
thank you for the time

all because of you
all because of you

clairo explores broken relationships from a relatively optimistic perspective: while allowing release for her pain, she does not conclude that the whole relationship was worthless because the romance ended. in “thank you,” clairo acknowledges the positive impact that a broken relationship had on her life.

right away, we have melancholy, regret, resignation, and gratitude all at once. the relationship is clearly over, even though this person really knew her: opened her doors and left them wide open. the gratitude for this special connection, even if it was temporary, shines through in the last line: “why doesn’t this happen more naturally?” but then clairo complicates things further with a resigned, “if i tried, maybe”

even as clairo expresses this gratitude for the relationship, it’s clear she was possessed with insecurity throughout. “when i met you, i knew it / i’d thank you for your time.” this line is set against very upbeat music, but i can’t help but sense so many layers of emotion here: why did clairo have a sense from the beginning that this relationship would end? was it her insecurities: did she just sense this person would leave her? or was it something else: did she sense that she would one day leave this person? from the moment the relationship began, there was an awareness of its temporary yet valuable nature: clairo accepts its end from the start, and is already grateful

“echo”

there is something that i need from you
and you're the only one that knows
and if i told the world i needed you
would you hear your name echo? (Echo)

…

our love is meant to be shared
while our love goes nowhere

there's a secret i can't keep from you
and i think you already know
it's in the things i see in you
and what you notice i echo (echo)

“echo” is another display of the uncertainty we often feel in romantic situations, even those that are quite developed. in “echo,” clairo seems to be singing to someone that she again has a secret relationship with: “our love is meant to be shared / while our love goes nowhere.” she needs something more from this person, and they’re “the only one that knows,” but then suddenly clairo shifts gears in the third stanza above: “there’s a secret i can’t keep from you, and i think you already know” (emphasis mine)

i love “echo” for many reasons, but one reason is how clairo captures the complexities of communication. these two have communicated so much through their intimacy, but clairo still hesitates in her certainty by deploying the word “think” and by describing the love as going “nowhere”

“pier 4”

you're just playin' dumb
what's the cost of it, of being loved
when close is not close enough?
where's your line, when do you draw
when close is not close enough?

the way this album ends is masterful. “pier 4” explicitly raises a question which i find to be at the center of the whole album: “where’s your line, when do you draw / when close is not close enough?”

(Clairo, the high priestess herself - source)

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