august: the month i went supernova

i am so, so grateful to have found the community here on substack

on august 1, in the face of several key people in my life reacting negatively to my identity, i started a substack called snowflakeangelbutterfly and posted about how my bracelets made me feel.

butterflies

this post resulted in multiple people reaching out to express their concern that i was mentally ill, emotionally unstable, and lying to my mental health care team about my “concerning behavior” on social media.

sometimes when people called me crazy for this post, i laughed. but my laughter seemed to offend them! they would get soooo serious like, andrew, this is not a joke, you’re talking about how your bracelets make you happy! so not only were they calling me crazy, they were demanding that i take them seriously when they did so.

and that i fucking refuse to do.

so i kept writing anyway. i wrote about my scrunchies. i wrote about my butterflies. i wrote about my friends who were being assholes. i poured out my guts like olivia rodrigo would want me to do. and that’s how i found all of you. that’s how i suddenly found myself in this space full of people who accepted me.

photo my own

i had no plan for this blog and i had absolutely no clue that anything like the writing i have found here existed anywhere on the internet.

if i had started this blog somewhere else, it would be nothing like what it is right now. it’s only thanks to reading the other writers here on substack that i’ve been able to produce my own posts as they have been produced.

this blog is what it is because YOU, the other writers of substack, have inspired me, improved my writing, and changed how i see the world. already i can feel how much you have influenced my approach to art itself and even just how i think about life itself. it is so, so good that we have this community here.

thank you to

Amanda!

, my FIRST friend on substack, my first window into this beautiful beautiful world

thank you to

Liz

and

peyton

, whose friendships have been so special this month, and whose writings inspired several of my posts and thoughts

thank you to

harry

, whose poetry always stirs me up inside

thank you to

Kristen Garaffo

, whose writing style inspires me and whose writing about how to clean out your closet like a hot girl directly inspired a post about my haim crocs and helped me think about my fashion sense. one line in particular from kristen still always sounds off in my mind: “the vibes in my closet after 5 hours of work are fierce.” unfortunately i have been writing like such a maniac, however, that i have yet to experience this, but i am sure i will share when i do 💖

thank you to

sarah cucchiara

, who wrote a wonderful post about reading that inspired me to write a post about romance novels which still has the most views of all my posts

thank you to

Valerie

, who is my favorite writer on substack

thank you to

Elle

, who i’ve never talked to but whose aesthetic obsesses me

thank you to

Taylor Cecelia Brook

, whose chronicles i love and whose writing style i have an urge to emulate and who has just been so nice to me

thank you to

Janu

, whose writings about space, privilege, and sitting around doing nothing are a true joy and pleasure to read and who has also been so nice to me

other writers who have influenced me but not necessarily appeared yet in my posts include

Paisley

,

Corey Banana

,

Joyful Sarcasm

,

caitlyn

,

Madison Huizinga

,

Grace

,

lauren

,

Madeline Mills

,

Madeline Paige

,

Emma Carmichael

,

rachel moss

,

Sophie Thomas

,

Michelle💌

,

Violet

,

lindsey peters berg

,

elaine alice

,

alina

,

Lilly | A Fraction of my Mind

,

Gayla Gray

,

Freya

,

Alesha 💕

,

cupofteaplease

,

Sarah Liedtke Packer

,

martina

. also

Swamp Ruby

, but her mentions are disabled! hopefully she reads this lol. (she fixed her mentions)

and i am sure so many more names i am not getting right now.

i encourage anyone new to substack to browse these names for people to follow.

on august 1, when i posted about butterflies, i knew none of you

now i find myself immersed in a whole new community of writers: writers who are writing without shame about their experiences and feelings, and who by sharing their own emotions are helping others grow as well. this is truly an amazing place.

if people mock this place they do so because their own authenticity frightens them. all of you have inspired me to truly embrace my authentic self, even more so than i already had before i came here, and because of that i am a better person thanks to you.

keep building authentic connections with other writers.

keep writing about your experiences.

keep writing about your feelings.

remember that simply by allowing yourself to shine through your art, you are a part of a revolution.

my middle school memoir

i was a supernova and he was a black hole: end of a friendship

i don’t mind the word dad: but i do mind the word father