Nightmares about my parents (updated 10:56 est 11/3/2024 — new recording 9)

I stopped sleeping with the lights on: I fell asleep listening to death cab for cutie, phoebe bridgers, and clairo: they saved me from my nightmares

Did I not say I’m in love?

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halloween, grand rapids, buffy, the u.k., and the nightmare of the byzantine empire

When I was in middle school I went to Chicago with my family. Sleeping on the floor, I had a nightmare: one of my sisters and both of my parents were in a demonic alien form, dark and shadowy, and they were sitting on me. They wouldn’t let me up. I screamed and screamed and they did not care. I was paralyzed.

I remember the nightmare now because recently I was in downtown Chicago after a clairo show and had the most terrifying night of my life: I was convinced my dad had a scheme to abduct me (my debilitating fears of my dad were the reason why I voluntarily checked into mental health services — these thoughts come from a healed mind) and I was so scared of my dad while I was in downtown Chicago that I wouldn’t even sleep on that hotel. I needed to leave and I drove straight back toward Grand Rapids. A voice inside me told me I’d only be safe in Grand Rapids — and that my son might need me soon.

Now I think back to all the nightmares I had about my parents as a little child: I dreamed they were dragging me out of bed at night and trying to feed me to a giant flower. I would always wake up at the last moment before they tossed me into its jaws. And what about my nightmares about Hell? I’ve written about them here: my mom always warned me they would if do anything to save me — couldn’t do anything to save me — she said Jesus would wipe their tears away and they’d leave me to burn in the lake of fire.

I’ve been screaming for months now, begging them to listen to my feelings: they ignore me. They tell me I am unwell. Not once have they responded to my feelings, and all my worst nightmares about them seem true tonight.

My parents are demons. At least this is who they are in my dreams.

I shiver at the thought of them.

Demonic Encounters

https://open.substack.com/pub/theseveredbranch2022/p/9-demonic-encounters?r=c0nj6&utm_medium=ios

Wtf Substack? U can plagiarize but u can’t link to herself????